To Charlie
Dear Charlie,
As my final month at DU begins, I have been thinking about my past and my future a great deal. Throughout this class, I have been exploring these things during our reflections. There is a lot for me to work through from my time in college and even more to figure out as I move forward. My reflection in this class has almost entirely centered on the things I am dealing with in my final quarter at DU. For example, when we we did the activity that involved talking to ourselves outside, I was feeling a lot of anxiety about graduate school and I was doubting if that's really what I want to do, but that time helped me to work through those feelings and return to the determined and optimistic person I usually am. I tend to get pretty anxious over the unknown but this process has really helped me to take a step back when those feelings set in and I think I am better able to handle them now.
I have always considered myself to be an introspective person--even in high school I would question what I was doing and why. I really enjoyed psychology back then so that may have contributed to my desire to analyze even my own behavior. Many times, though, that led to overanalyzing and overreacting, which is really not the purpose of reflection. Sometimes, in the process of attempting to reflect on my actions, I would get even more worked up than I was before. I now know that reflection is a process that should make you feel better at its conclusion. Our conversations about meditation have really helped me to realize that. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself (probably because I have been an overachiever my entire life) but I have come to realize that sometimes you have to just let things roll off your back. In my past experiences with reflection, everything always ended up an even bigger deal than it was before I "reflected"...but now, I am starting to recognize what matters and what doesn't and reflecting on my life, behaviors and priorities is an integral part of that process.
As I leave DU and continue on with my journey, I feel confident knowing that I will be better able to handle stress by reflecting to determine what really matters and what is actually insignificant. Graduate school (should that work out for me--fingers crossed) is incredibly stressful, or so I've heard, so having these skills will be necessary to make it out alive with a sane mind. I have definitely become better at prioritizing and letting things go. Before, everything would be the top priority, but now I understand that sometimes things need to take the back seat for awhile and not everything has to be so urgent. Obviously, this all is made clear by reflecting. And I feel a lot better about my future knowing that I will be able to reflect productively and stress a lot less.
I know you can relate to what I am feeling because I know you are just as driven and determined as I am. We both hope to do great things in our careers and for science. Our type of work is incredibly demanding in many ways, including emotionally. We pour ourselves into our research and sometimes we don't get a lot back...not immediately at least. I know I have experienced many times where I ask myself "does anyone really care?" in regards to the research I have been putting my sweat and tears into for months. Sometimes I walk by your lab and wonder if you're asking yourself the same things. Everyone that does what we do has to at some point, right? I don't have all of the answers...hell, sometimes I wonder if I have any answers at all, but I do know that during the painful (but rewarding) process that is science sometimes we just have to let things go. There have been many days where I have left my lab with terrible data and I beat myself up over it. I used to let these things impact my mood for hours and hours, but that's not a great way to live life. Sometimes you just have to let things like this go. And then you reflect, and then you decide what needs to be done next and what is worth your stress. Our minds can only do so much and sometimes I fear we push ourselves too hard and too far. So, just take it one step at a time and some how some way everything will work out. I know we both have the strength to do great things, and now we have the skills to hopefully get through it a little bit easier.
Sincerely,
Carolyn
As my final month at DU begins, I have been thinking about my past and my future a great deal. Throughout this class, I have been exploring these things during our reflections. There is a lot for me to work through from my time in college and even more to figure out as I move forward. My reflection in this class has almost entirely centered on the things I am dealing with in my final quarter at DU. For example, when we we did the activity that involved talking to ourselves outside, I was feeling a lot of anxiety about graduate school and I was doubting if that's really what I want to do, but that time helped me to work through those feelings and return to the determined and optimistic person I usually am. I tend to get pretty anxious over the unknown but this process has really helped me to take a step back when those feelings set in and I think I am better able to handle them now.
I have always considered myself to be an introspective person--even in high school I would question what I was doing and why. I really enjoyed psychology back then so that may have contributed to my desire to analyze even my own behavior. Many times, though, that led to overanalyzing and overreacting, which is really not the purpose of reflection. Sometimes, in the process of attempting to reflect on my actions, I would get even more worked up than I was before. I now know that reflection is a process that should make you feel better at its conclusion. Our conversations about meditation have really helped me to realize that. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself (probably because I have been an overachiever my entire life) but I have come to realize that sometimes you have to just let things roll off your back. In my past experiences with reflection, everything always ended up an even bigger deal than it was before I "reflected"...but now, I am starting to recognize what matters and what doesn't and reflecting on my life, behaviors and priorities is an integral part of that process.
As I leave DU and continue on with my journey, I feel confident knowing that I will be better able to handle stress by reflecting to determine what really matters and what is actually insignificant. Graduate school (should that work out for me--fingers crossed) is incredibly stressful, or so I've heard, so having these skills will be necessary to make it out alive with a sane mind. I have definitely become better at prioritizing and letting things go. Before, everything would be the top priority, but now I understand that sometimes things need to take the back seat for awhile and not everything has to be so urgent. Obviously, this all is made clear by reflecting. And I feel a lot better about my future knowing that I will be able to reflect productively and stress a lot less.
I know you can relate to what I am feeling because I know you are just as driven and determined as I am. We both hope to do great things in our careers and for science. Our type of work is incredibly demanding in many ways, including emotionally. We pour ourselves into our research and sometimes we don't get a lot back...not immediately at least. I know I have experienced many times where I ask myself "does anyone really care?" in regards to the research I have been putting my sweat and tears into for months. Sometimes I walk by your lab and wonder if you're asking yourself the same things. Everyone that does what we do has to at some point, right? I don't have all of the answers...hell, sometimes I wonder if I have any answers at all, but I do know that during the painful (but rewarding) process that is science sometimes we just have to let things go. There have been many days where I have left my lab with terrible data and I beat myself up over it. I used to let these things impact my mood for hours and hours, but that's not a great way to live life. Sometimes you just have to let things like this go. And then you reflect, and then you decide what needs to be done next and what is worth your stress. Our minds can only do so much and sometimes I fear we push ourselves too hard and too far. So, just take it one step at a time and some how some way everything will work out. I know we both have the strength to do great things, and now we have the skills to hopefully get through it a little bit easier.
Sincerely,
Carolyn
October 24, 2017
ReplyDeleteDear Carolyn,
I am glad to see you are learning how to prioritize your time better so that you can avoid the mental anguish that comes from worrying about everything. If reflection has helped you to recognize which things matter, and which don’t then I would say you have utilized the class perfectly. Life as we move forward cannot get any easier (we are basically still playing adult right now) so it is important that we learn from our mistakes, but also recognize that failure is an inevitable part of the human experience. All the data we get that isn’t quite what we wanted, the grades in classes that could have been better, not be accepted to the graduate school we hope, all these are examples of what we perceive to be failure. But with the proper application of reflection, all the experiences will give us the opportunity to grow. When you ask yourself “does anyone really care?” don’t worry if the answer seems to be no. If you care, and know you are learning from your experience to the greatest possible extent, then the mundane will become exceptional. Life isn’t about overachieving in everything (which is impossible), it’s about achieving what we know is our best in the things we love. The only way to effectively determine this is through reflection.
Live life, learn, and reflect and you will be successful!
Sincerely,
Charlie